RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
