3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
