I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
