Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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