I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
