she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
