some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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