Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I am mentally ready for anal.
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