I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
