the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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