She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
