haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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