i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
