I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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