There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
