I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
