Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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