He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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