first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
