I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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