so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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