As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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