Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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