i think i have herpe
just one?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
