wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
