Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
