Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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