The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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