She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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