dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize