Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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