I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
