I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
