I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
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Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
His nipple licking is glorious
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