oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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