so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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