How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
