you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
