no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
