so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
