just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
