hotel room ftw
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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