can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
