i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
