All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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