I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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