five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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