How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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