After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
