Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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