did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
