His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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