ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
