help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
