question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
