She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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