I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
a search helicopter?!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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