So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize