fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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