whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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