That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
