Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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