During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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