he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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